MEGA LAN 3: Devil With the Blue Dress
by moonymonster
Summary: After the whole cat episode, Roll and Mayl were certain Dex and Man Guts would leave Hub and Mega Lan alone. Well, they did but now a new girl and her Navi show up and steal their boyfriends! Can the four rivals team up to rescue Hub and Mega Lan?


_(Disclaimer: This story has a plot.)_

**MEGA LAN 3: Devil With the Blue Dress**

_"She's the devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress, _

_Devil with the blue dress on_

_Devil with the blue dress, blue dress, blue dress, _

_Devil with the blue dress on"_

_Mitch Ryder and The __Detroit__ Wheels_

Hub groaned as the world came into focus and he found himself in his bedroom. He blinked and wondered what was going on.

There were two reasons as to why he was confused. The first one was that he and Roll had spent the night at her house watching Doctor Yahoot's Yoga Classroom until they both passed out on the floor (which wasn't hard, seeing as the reruns were so boring) and he could see he was now definitely in his bed. The second was that Mega Lan hadn't woken him up with his incredibly loud yelling, which he did pretty much every single day, even Sundays.

However, Hub didn't really bother to take in the whole oddity of the situation. Hub wasn't the sort to actually think in the mornings until he had to, and right now he didn't.

Deciding to sleep in until Mega Lan got off his lazy butt and woke him up, he turned on his side, facing the wall.

There lay an astonishingly beautiful girl, smiling softly in her sleep.

It wasn't her incredibly long red and yellow and green and brown and scarlet and black and ocher and peach and ruby and olive and violet and fawn and lilac and gold and chocolate and mauve and cream and crimson and silver and rose and azure and lemon and russet and grey and purple and white and pink and orange and red and yellow and green and brown and blue hair. It wasn't her petite little nose that turned just _so_ to make her look as cute as possible, and it wasn't her sexy, pouty lips. It wasn't her delicate shell-pink ears and it wasn't even her amazingly thin yet curvaceous body that was laying just a _leetle _bit too close for comfort. She was beautiful because just by looking at her face he could see she was honest, fun, uncannily smart and streetwise, a bit shy, a happy extrovert, and a superb Netbattler.

Her wonderful eyes opened slowly, and she stared at him happily. They were amazing, as was the rest of her—currently they were a gorgeous pink, but Hub knew that they changed with her mood, and were pink right now because pink was a sign of her love.

Hub knew they were meant to be together.

"Uh…hi…" he said to the girl. She giggled and sat up, making him fall out of bed (again.) He didn't care, though. She was too pretty to be rude or mean spirited, and the fall was just an accident.

"Hi," she grinned, and her smile made his heart feel like singing. "I'm Mary. You're Hub Hikari, right?"

"Um…yeah."  
            "I hope you don't mind me spending the night here last night—it was raining very hard, so your mother let me in and let me sleep in your room. Then you came home and we were both too tired to wake up." She giggled. "I'm sure we didn't do anything…_bad,_ you know?"

"I almost wish we did…" Hub breathed, then quickly got a hold on himself. "I—I mean, it's, ah, nice to see you here." He didn't mention the fact that there was no rain at all last night, nor had he come home on purpose. He was supposed to spend today with Roll and take her to the movies, but surely—

"Oh no! Roll!" he cried suddenly. "She's going to _kill_ me!" He scrambled up and started changing only to stop, blushing wildly.

"Umm…would you mind…leaving the room?" he asked, turning redder. Mary giggled and walked outside.

"I'll change too, okay?" she said, smiling sweetly. She then walked into the bathroom, humming happily. The song she was humming sounded like a song in Little Mermaid—the one Ursula used to hypnotize Prince Eric to force him to marry her.

Hub ignored the author's blatant use of symbolism and got dressed. He pulled on his best shirt, which was a nice dark blue, and his best pair of pants, which were as black as his hair. As he looked out the window he decided to also put on his blue jacket, for it was overcast outside. For once he didn't put any clothing on the wrong parts of his body, which disappointed the author seeing as that would have been a great run-on joke.

 "Hey, Mega Lan? You in there?" he called when he finished, looking over to his PET.

"Yeah, Hub…um…This is Sue."  Mega Lan gave Hub a dazed look, and waved in the direction of a female Navi, who smiled winsomely. Her hair was a beautiful shade of red with yellow and green and brown (and scarlet and black and ocher and peach) highlights, which fell in graceful curls down to her waist, swirling around the long fairy wings that burst from her beautiful, blue-clothed shoulders.  The wings were gorgeous, long and lean, and as she moved they shimmered like oil on a puddle. Her boots and gloves were forest green, and her face was absolutely perfect, just like Mary. She, like her Operator, could beat out Aphrodite any day.

"Hello, Sue," said Hub, staring at her. He could understand why Mega Lan was blushing so much. The fairy-like Navi was drop dead gorgeous.

"I've changed, Hub!" called Mary's sweet voice. She walked into his room wearing a beautiful blue dress that somehow managed to accent every single color in her hair, making her look near sublime. It clung to every curve in her body, yet was modest almost to the point of prim.

Hub could barely keep his jaw off the ground.

"You…look…very…nice…" he said weakly, and sat down on his bed. Mary giggled and sat on the chair across from him. The fact that Mary had to have had some sort of clothing with her in order to change (thus putting ANOTHER hole in her 'saved in the rain' story) didn't even enter his mind.

"Hub! Hub, are you here?" called a worried voice. Hub looked up to see Roll standing in the doorway, openmouthed.

"Hi, Roll…this is Mary."

Roll's eyes narrowed. "Hello, Mary."

"Hello, Roll," said Mary sweetly, but her voice carried an edge to it. "It's so…_wonderful_ to meet Hub's friend."

"_Girl_friend, you mean," growled Roll. Mary only smiled again, her eyes now narrow slits and a deep, dark red.

"Of course, Roll. Wonderful to meet his…_former_ girlfriend."

"Wh-what?" gasped Hub, stopping the catfight before it got started. "Wait a minute. I never said—"

"Mega Lan! Who is _this_?" cried Mayl from her PET, staring at Sue on Hub's monitor.

"This is Sue," Mega Lan said, blushing wildly. "She…came in last night. With her Operator. Hub's mom let them in. Because there was a storm. And she stayed in Hub's room. Because the guestroom was a mess. And Sue stayed in my PET."

"But it wasn't raining last night!"

"Um…"

"And you spent the night at my house, Hub," growled Roll. "How did you get home?"

"Um…"

"And how could she have gotten into your PET in the first place, Mega Lan? This Mary person doesn't even have a PET of her own!"

"Actually, I do." Mary pulled out a rainbow-colored PET that must have cost a fortune to personalize, putting yet ANOTHER hole in her story, seeing as a rich girl wouldn't wander the streets of a small suburb at night while it was 'raining.' However, only Mayl and Roll noticed this discrepancy.

"So your symbol is a multi-colored heart, huh?" said Roll, her eyes somehow narrowing further.

Mary smiled. "Yes."

"You know, it looks just like mine, only more colorful."

"What a coincidence! Because, see, I've had mine longer."

"Oh really."

"Yes, really. My Navi was a prototype for all of yours, and because of that somehow has elegant and exciting attacks that can grind all of your Navis into dust."

Roll's eyes managed to narrow even more, which was quite a feat.

"Do you want to prove that?" she growled.

Mary's eyes glinted. "Why, I think that would be—"

"Wait, wait, hold on a minute," interrupted Hub.

"Yeah, just calm down," said Mega Lan. "We aren't dating Mary and Sue ye—at all. We're still dating you guys for no—ah, I mean…ever."

Mayl looked like she was about to explode, Roll along with her.

"I see," said the blonde, her voice low and dangerous. "Hub, let's go see that movie, okay? _Alone._"

"Are you sure we can't bring Mary with us? She'll get bored."

"I'm absolutely one hundred and ten percent positive sure she cannot come."

"Oh, that's all right," said Mary softly. "I'll just wait here, alone, and play some of your wonderful videogames or something. I'm sure I'll be fine."

"No, you're coming," decided Hub. Mega Lan nodded, and their two form—that is, _current_ girlfriends fumed.

 ######

"So what did you think of the movie?" asked Hub to Mary. He seemed to have forgotten Roll.

"Oh, I thought it was wonderful," the girl said earnestly. "Especially when the hero and beautiful heroine kissed. That was my favorite."

"Really?" said Roll sarcastically. "My favorite was when the heroine _died_. And the fact that no one seemed to _care_. That was _my_ favorite."

"Um…I liked…when the hero and heroine were fighting the bad guy," said Hub hesitantly. "What about you guys?" He looked down at Mega Lan, who nodded in agreement.

"I liked the same part you did, Hub," said the Navi.

"I liked the part you liked best too, Roll," growled Mayl. She seemed to be staring at Sue hatefully as she said this.

"And I liked the kissing part," smiled Sue, ignoring Mayl's hateful glare. If anything, she seemed to be happy about it. "I thought it was romantic when they were kissing during dinner…"

 "Speaking of which…Hub, could you take us to the Shé Snooté five star restaurant in DenTech City?" asked Mary.

"Th-th-the WHAT?!" Hub gasped. "Mary, that place is really expensive! I can't even afford the drive to _get_ there!"

"Oh, that's all right," said Mary sweetly. "I'll pay for it—I just want to be with _you_, Hub."

Roll _seethed._ How could this—this—_girl _take away her boyfriend?! It was ridiculous! Horrible!

It was time to pull out the big guns.

"Listen, Hub," she said, smiling oh-so-happily. "My mom's making her famous curry-udon tonight. Wouldn't you rather eat at my house instead?"

Hub's face was frozen as he looked at the two girls in front of him. One was a gorgeous babe who was offering to take him on an all-expense-paid trip to one of the best restaurants in town, and the other a very old friend (and…ah…_current_ girlfriend) who would probably kill him once he got home.

Hub looked at Mary, then at Roll, then at Mary, then at Roll again.

"Oh, c'mon, Hub! It'll be fun!" Mary latched herself onto Hub's arm, and dragged him out of the movie theater and into a conveniently placed car.

"Wait!" yelled Roll angrily as the two drove away. "Mayl, try—"

"I did!" Mayl cried. "She's got a firewall up on Mega Lan's PET! I can't get though!"

"Aw, crud. What can we do now?"

"I don't know." Mayl sounded miserable. "I can't get into his PET, and you can't catch up to that car…"

"Roll! Hey, Roll! Where's my Hub?!" cried a familiar voice. Roll turned to see Dex scooting up the street on his scooter. "Why'd he get in that car?!"

"Because his new girlfriend _Maarr-y_ decided to take him to the Shé Snooté restaurant downtown," Roll growled.

"And Mega Lan's with her Navi _Sue_, and they're probably going to—" Mayl's face turned white as she considered the possibilities, starting with holding hands and ending at kissing.

"Mega Lan is with a new Navi?" gasped Man Guts.

 "It's bad enough with my Hub dating _you_, Roll," Dex added, "But now he's with some new girl?!"

Roll ignored the insult and nodded. "She's gorgeous too, and loaded. She came into his house last night because it was raining—"

"But it wasn't!"

"I know, but it hasn't clicked with Hub yet. _None_ of the holes in her story have clicked with him. It's like he's under some sort of spell. And not the kind you wanted, Dex."

"Wh-wh-what?! What are you talking about? I didn't—"

"Don't play dumb, Dex. I read the last Mega Lan story. Anyway, it doesn't matter—we need to get Hub and Mega Lan away from Mary and Sue! At least we can compete for him without some freaky girl interfering!"

Dex nodded, and Man Guts frowned.

"But how can we get to my Mega Lan, guts?"

Dex smiled. "I know who we can go to."

 ######

"Wait a minute. You want me to drive you to Shé Snooté, then pay for your meal, _then_ help you guys get Hub and Mega Lan back?"

"Yes. Can you help us, Yai?"

Yai grinned. "Of course! This means I'm finally a plot device in the Mega Lan stories!" Her grin grew wider. "Guys, get dressed. We're going to Shé Snooté!"

 ######

"Isn't it wonderful, Hub?" asked Mary, looking at all the beautiful people in the beautiful restaurant eating beautiful food. But as far as Hub was concerned, it was _she_ who made the restaurant glow, not the awesome decorating job or gorgeous gowns the women wore. He was in such awe of her beauty that he didn't even taste the twelve thousand zenny steak in front of him.

Mega Lan was much in the same way, though he and Sue were simply sitting in a beautifully decorated 'room' with nicely dressed Navis. It was a bit more boring for the two, seeing as there was no food for them to consume, but they made up for it by talking a mile a minute. Mega Lan found that Sue was interested and agreed with every single thing he said, which was quite a bit of an improvement over Mayl.

However, part of Mega Lan's mind felt like complaining. After all, Mayl and he actually got into some fun conversations—true ones, with debates and all—and he kinda missed that. However, the part was ignored in favor of Sue's delight in everything he said and listening to her melodious laugh when he said something funny.

"Hi, _Sue_," said a new voice. Mega Lan looked up as a shadow leaned over the table. The shadow belonged to Mayl, who was now wearing a nice pink gown (though how she got it he'd never know.) Glyde and Man Guts were standing next to her, both vaguely handsome in black tuxedos. 

"Ah, hello, _Mayl_," smiled Sue, her eyes narrowing. She leaned a little bit closer to Mega Lan, and Mayl twitched.

"Do you mind if we sit down?" Mayl asked politely, grabbing a chair.

"Actually, I—"

"Wonderful. Glyde, Man Guts, pull up some chairs."

The two Navis obeyed her orders, and the three surrounded Sue easily, making the once just-for-two table a now very cozy smushed-with-five.

"Uh, Man Guts, Glyde," gasped Sue, "I can't breathe."

"That's okay. Navis don't need to breathe," Mayl growled. Glyde, however, sat back to give Sue more room.

"I can understand why Mega Lan likes her…" he whispered, staring at her awesome beauty. Mayl facefaulted, then got up, glaring at Glyde.

"Not you too!"

"Ah…Sue…why don't we move to…another table?" asked Glyde weakly, ignoring Mayl's outburst.

"Of course," said Sue, winking. "Coming, Mega Lan?"

Mega Lan nodded and the three walked off, Sue biting her thumb at Mayl behind Mega Lan's back.

"Darnit!" swore Mayl as she bit her thumb back, glaring hatefully at the fairy-like Navi. "How could Glyde doublecross us?! He was supposed to help us get rid of her, not try to date her!"

"Guts!" grumbled Man Guts. "Man Gut's can't see what's so good about her, guts! Man Guts thinks she is just a girl, guts!"

"Just a…wait a minute…Roll! Are you there? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah," came the dazed reply. "Yai and Hub just moved with Mary over to a different table…I never knew Yai was a lesbian…"

"She's a WHAT?!"

"I told you, I never knew…anyway, Dex and I are stuck. What about you?"

"Man Guts and I don't have any luck either. It's like she's got a boy-magnet or something."

"I'd say that sounds crazy, but I think you're right."

"Guts!" said Man Guts to show he agreed.

"Hey…" said Dex slowly. "Do you think if we made them both really, really ugly their boy-magnet powers would stop working?"

Roll blinked and stared at Dex, amazed. Dex actually had an idea?

 "Um…well…we could try that…" said Roll, trying to get over her shock. "But how could we, well, uglify them?"

"I don't think putting mud on them will work," said Mayl slowly. "For some reason boys like that stuff. Besides, we couldn't get any HERE…"

At that moment a waiter walked by pushing a huge cart filled with stinky mud. Of course, the two preteens and Navis were too preoccupied with their problems to notice it.

"It'll be pretty hard to uglify them," said Dex, studying Mary carefully. "She dresses well, and you can tell she takes real good care of her hair and face…not to mention she's really good at applying makeup…"

Roll didn't even blink at his inspection. After all, everybody knew gay guys had impeccable fashion sense—"Queer Eye for a Straight Guy" had proven that.

"But what can we _do_, Dex? Just because she's good at that stuff…"

"Hang on," said Dex suddenly. "Did she leave any makeup at Hub's house?"

"I don't know," snapped Roll, irritated. She couldn't see how that was important.

"Actually, Dex, I think I saw some on the bathroom counter before we left for the movie theater, right after she came out in that dress of hers. She also had a bag there."

Roll blinked. "Really, Mayl?"

"Really really."

"Then let's get to Hub's house," said Dex. "If there's one thing I know, it's how makeup is properly made…and I think Mary's makeup might be a bit…special."

Both Roll and Mayl sweatdropped, and because they didn't know about Dex's secret desire to be a hair colorist and makeup designer thought he was nuts.

"We'll…meet you there," said Mayl after she recovered. Roll nodded, and walked out of the restaurant, glaring at Mary on the way. Mary only gave her an evil smile, and started playing with Hub's hair, making Roll even more furious. Unfortunately, she couldn't do a thing about it.

_Yet,_ she thought grimly.

The two got into Yai's limo and were soon at Hub's house, much to their relief. Roll knocked on the door, and Hub's smiling mother opened it.

"Oh, hello! I'm sorry, but Hub isn't here—"

"We know," Dex interrupted. "Roll and I left something very important upstairs, though. Can you let us in?"

"Oh, of course! I'm cleaning right now, so I won't be able to help that much—"

"That's fine," Roll said. "We won't be a trouble at all. Thanks!"

With that the two barged into the house, leaving Mrs. Hikari standing at the door, vacuum cleaner still in hand.

 ######

"Look, there's her bag, sitting on the bathroom counter!" cried Dex as they entered the room.

"Geez," tisked Roll. "You'd think Hub would _notice_ the fact the girl came with a three-piece set of Louis Viton luggage."

"I could understand _Mega Lan_ being so thick," said Mayl, "But Hub should know better!"

"That's why I think something's wrong," growled Dex.

"C'mon, let's just take her stuff and get out of here," said Roll as she grabbed the smallest of the Louis Viton luggage bags and dragged it out.

"No," said Dex, putting it back. "She'll catch on instantly if the actual luggage is gone. Let's just take her makeup and anything odd we find in her bags."

The two proceeded to search every single piece until they found Mary's makeup kits (there were seven, to be exact) and two program chips, very similar to the ones used on Mega Lan when he was turned into a cat.

"Well, I _know_ there's gotta be something fishy about this one," said Roll as she lifted up the chips in question. "The author practically said so."

"Yeah…okay, I've got all the stuff she seems to use the most, so let's go."

With that the two preteens packed everything back up and walked out of the house, thanking Mrs. Hikari on the way out.

 ######

"Miyu, what do you think?" asked Dex as Miyu studied the makeup the two had brought. Her Navi, Skull Man, was studying the program inside his own PET.

"It is magical, yes…but I don't think I can break this spell. It was made by a master."

"You can't break it?! But that's our only hope of freeing Hub and Mega Lan!"

"Do not worry," said Miyu. "I shall give this to the ones who trained me in the magic arts. They will find the solution. Skull Man…"

Skull Man nodded and dissipated.

######

"Um…Mary…where are we going?" Hub asked, giving Mary an odd look. Though Yai had asked them to come to her mansion after dinner, Mary had politely refused, saying she and Hub had other plans. Sue had said the same thing to Glyde, and the four rushed off before the girl and butler-like Navi could argue.

However, as far as he knew they never had any plans, and now he was confused.

Mary only smiled, and the car drove on.

 ######

"Have you found them, Skull Man?" asked Miyu as the Navi returned. Skull Man nodded, somehow managing to smile wider than usual.

"Ruff!" said Rush as he popped out of another hole. Miyu bowed to the screen, and Rush gave her a long look.

"What's the problem?" he finally said with a sigh. The two preteens and their Navis stared at Rush in shock.

"Th-th-THIS is your teacher?!" gasped Mayl finally. Miyu nodded.

"Along with his Operator, Mrs. Hikari."

A window popped up, showing Mrs. Hikari waving happily and smiling.

"You should have told me Hub was acting oddly!" she scolded. The four just stared in shock.

"Rush…and Mrs. Hikari…taught you…magic?" said Dex slowly.

"Why, yes!" said Mrs. Hikari cheerfully. "I wasn't _always_ a housewife, you know."

"And how do you think I can walk around in the real world and open portals to the Net World?" asked Rush in a slightly sniffy and rather barky tone. "Even Hub's _dad_ doesn't really know how. He just pretends."

Roll and Dex simply stood there, mouths open, trying to take in all the new information. Mrs. Hikari sighed and Rush tapped his foot, waiting for the two to react.

"Well?" he said impatiently, popping into the real world and snapping his paws in Roll's face. "What's the problem?"

"When did you learn how to talk?" asked Roll, dazed. She was still trying to get it into her head that Hub's mom wasn't just a ditzy housewife.

Rush sighed and looked at Miyu. "Well?"

"Here," said the turquoise-haired woman, handing a program chip and a small case filled with Mary's eye makeup. "Hub has been hypnotized by a girl named Mary, and Mega Lan has somehow been infected with a spell virus by her Navi, Sue. There is, as you can see, a spell on the makeup, and as for the program chips…"

"I'll be right over," said Mrs. Hikari, her face suddenly serious. "Just wait a moment."

It truly _was_ just a moment, for with a poof of purple smoke Mrs. Hikari stood in front of them, dusting herself off.

"The dust is just a side affect. Rather annoying, actually—I always have to clean up the mess afterward."

"O-oh," said Roll, staring at Mrs. Hikari. "I…ah…wouldn't know."

"No, I suppose not. Miyu, may I see the makeup? And Rush, could you take a look at the programs?"

"Sure." Rush walked over and grabbed the chips, slotting them into Miyu's computer, his eyes glued to the screen as he forced his way into the actual coding. Meanwhile, Mrs. Hikari grabbed the makeup and was studying it carefully, just as Miyu had done before.

"I see," she said finally. "You were good to call me, Miyu…even _I_ will have a hard time breaking this one." She turned to Roll and Dex. "I need you two to go find Hub. I have the feeling this Mary person is going to try to hurt him, but I can't protect him and destroy this spell at the same time…"

"All right," said Dex. "But…how are we supposed to find them?"

"Why don't you try tracking Hub's PET?"

"What? How?"

"This way…Mayl, I'll show you how to do it. Roll, may I see your PET?"

"Okay," Roll said as she handed over the machine. Mrs. Hikari took it, nodding her thanks.

"See, Mayl, this is what you do…" Hub's mom started pressing buttons, and Mayl watched as a new window popped up next to her on the screen. A map appeared of the whole area, and soon a small blinking light appeared near the beach, a few towns away.

"He's by the beach? But…How'd he get there so quickly? And why's he there?"

 "I don't know," said Mrs. Hikari gravely. "But I need you guys to distract him and keep him away from Mary until I can break the spell. Then we can free my son and capture Mary." She paused for a moment, a concentrated look on her face. Two raincoats and umbrellas appeared in her hand. "Put these on," she explained. "It's starting to rain out."

"Oh, thanks," said Roll as she and Dex did as ordered. Mrs. Hikari smiled.

"Not a problem. Now, go!"

With a poof and a slight boom, the two kids and their Navis vanished in the air. Mrs. Hikari watched the air for a moment, went back to studying the makeup, Miyu at her side.

 ######

"That…was weird," said Roll, sneezing as she choked on the magic dust. Dex nodded to show he agreed, and Mayl laughed.

"You two should see yourselves. You look like someone threw Floo powder all over you."

"Yeah, yeah…" Roll and Dex put up their umbrellas as the rain worsened, the waves getting rougher and higher with every minute. "So where're the floozies and our boyfriends?"

Dex snorted, but Roll ignored him. Mayl looked at the map next to her on the screen, studying it carefully as she zoomed it in.

"Well, according to the map they're on the pier," she said finally. Then she paused. "Odd…"

"'Odd'?"

"Well, the pier goes out to the deep water, and it's really stormy out. Why would they go there…?"

 ######

"Why are we here, Mary?" asked Hub, even more confused than before. The two were sitting on the very edge of the pier, looking down at the crashing waves. It was high tide, and the water was particularly rough today, smashing into the great concrete pillars angrily. It had started to rain heavily, and the water got rougher and rougher with each minute that passed. Even the hardcore surfers had given up, and when Hub looked back at the lifeguard station, he could see the flag above was a bright red. He wondered why,  but didn't question.

"Oh, I just love looking at the water," said Mary, bringing Hub out of his observations. "I especially like it when it's stormy." Her eyes were a dark gray, nearly the same color as the crashing waves below.

"Oh! I've always been a, ah, _land_ person myself…"

"You're missing out," said Mary, laughing as she held tightly to Hub's hand. Tighter, tighter.

"Um, Mary, you're hurting me," Hub said, pulling away and massaging his hand. He strapped Mega Lan's PET securely into its holder, making sure it wouldn't fall out. After all, he knew if he dropped it here, he'd never find it again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Hub." Mary's irises turned dark blue with grayish tones, and the pupils seemed to narrow slightly. In the odd light her choreas seemed more gray than white, and her eyes looked unnatural and slightly evil.

"Mary…um…why don't we go back?" said Hub, growing uncomfortable. He didn't like it here.

"Yeah, I want to go home too," said Mega Lan from his PET. Sue sighed as she clung to Mega Lan's arm.

"Aw, why? Don't you like how nice the water looks?"

The water didn't look nice at all. It looked gray and dangerous, just like Mary.

"Hub! HUB!! WATCH OUT!" screamed a new voice. Hub turned to see Roll and Dex running onto the pier. "SHE'S GONNA—"

"Too late!" Mary crowed, shoving Hub over the fence that kept everyone safe. With a cry he fell over, but managed to catch onto the slippery rail at the last second. The waves crashed below him, and he felt the spray splash all over his body. Desperately he tightened his grip on the bar, crying out as his hands slipped and he nearly let go.

"_HELP!!__ MARY! SOMEONE! HELP!!"_

"HANG ON, HUB!!" screamed Roll, racing for the edge. Mary only laughed and lunged at her, knocking her to the wet, slippery ground.

"I'll push you over too!" she crowed as she forced them closer and closer to the edge. "I'll get rid of Hub _and_ the annoying blonde!"

"I…am…not…ANNOYING!" with that, Roll shoved Mary on her back and started punching fiercely, ruining Mary's perfect face. Inside their PETs a similar struggle was happening, and Mayl was beating Sue to a pulp, grinning ferociously.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY BOYFRIEND AND TRYING TO KILL HIM!" screamed Roll as she punched harder and harder. Mary's eyes were nearly white now from the pain, and she stopped fighting back as she felt her nose break and her jaw crack.

"My…face…" she croaked weakly, but Roll didn't really care about Mary's beauty problems. She had realized she had forgotten all about Hub during the fight, and looked up, horrified.

"Got him!" Dex cried happily as he yanked the boy back onto the pier.

"Good!" Roll called back, giving a sigh of relief. She then gave Mary one last punch for good measure, knocking the girl out instantly. She draped the girl's arm over her shoulder, deciding to bring the twit along so Mrs. Hikari could deal with her properly. After all, a thrashing wasn't enough punishment for someone who dared call her _annoying_.

"Mayl, can you contact Rush from here?" called Roll over the rain as the four made their way back to the beach and safety.

"Yes," called the pink haired Navi from Mega Lan's PET. She had raced over as soon as she could to make sure the PET was safe and sound, and was hugging Mega Lan tightly as she answered. "Wait…Man Guts, can you send an email to Rush?"

Man Guts nodded, and disappeared in a flash of light. The four kids had reached the end of the pier and were walking onto the beach when Mrs. Hikari appeared in a flash of purple smoke.

"Oh, thank goodness," she said as she grabbed her son. Hub stared at her, apparently dazed. He and Mega Lan hadn't said a word since Mary and Sue's defeat. "Guys, gather close to me. That's right. All right…"

With another poof and slight boom the five disappeared.

 ######

"You have no right to do this!" Sue screamed as the four reappeared in Miyu's shop. "I'll—I'll call the police on you! Everyone! You'll be sorry!"

"We found out what was wrong with the makeup," said Mrs. Hikari, ignoring the protesting Navi completely, knowing all the threats were empty. There was no way for Sue to contact anyone—she now had such a powerful firewall around her PET that only a hacker as good as Hub's dad would be able to break though. Miyu dragged Mary onto a couch and then brought a small container holding some blush and powder, along with one of the program chips. Quickly she dusted Mary's face with the stuff, and slipped the chip into Sue's PET.

"No!" Sue cried as the program began to take affect. "No! No! No…"

"Wha…what's going on?" asked Mega Lan, blinking. "I feel like I was asleep…"

"Me too," said Hub as he shook his head. He quickly stopped leaning on Dex and stood on his own two feet, running a hand over his face. "It's like I was under a spell or something…"

"You were," Roll said bluntly, staring intently at her boyfriend. "You okay?"

"Yeah…WOW!"

"What?!"

Both kids turned to see Mary groaning on the couch. However, she was no longer the heavenly vision that she began the story with. Now her face was pockmarked and sallow, with dirty, nondescript hair that seemed to be no color in particular. When the two looked into Sue's PET, they could see a similar transformation occurring. Now Sue looked like a standard Navi with dark hair and a white bodysuit. She no longer had her wings, just like how Mary no longer had her silky white skin and gorgeous complexion. Now the two simply looked normal—actually, a bit on the ugly side.

"What…happened to them?" whispered Roll. Mrs. Hikari looked gravely at the two.

"I had to reverse the spell completely," she said sadly. "This, unfortunately, was how they looked before they were transformed."

"Before…?"

"Yes. They're both agents of Grave. Aren't you, Sue?"

Sue glared hatefully at the woman. "Yes," she spat out. "And we would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids and that _stupid dog_!"

Rush looked at her, offended. "Not only do I speak better than Scooby Doo, but I'm not stupid!" With that he grabbed the PET and before anyone else could do anything had pressed 'delete.' Of course, no one particularly cared when the Navi disappeared in a flurry of pixels.

"Well, I'll take Mary to the prison hospital," said Miyu as she dragged the unconscious girl into her van. "See you all later…"

"Bye!"

 ######

The next day Roll showed up at Hub's house bright and early, a mischievous look on her face. Mrs. Hikari took one look at her and laughed.

"Go ahead," she said, a twinkle in her eye. "He should be awake by now."

Grinning, the girl jumped up the stairs two at a time, knocking on Hub's door loudly. "Just a minute!" cried the boy from inside, and a moment later stepped out wearing his usual jeans and shirt, though he wore two different color socks and mismatched shoes. Then his jaw dropped to the ground.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!" he screamed, and ran away. Roll started laughing hard, chasing him down the stairs and into the street.

"It's only a little makeup, Hub!" she called cheerfully. "It won't bite!"

**_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"_****__**

_######_

_¡Dios mío! This one had serious parts! Nutbunnies!  _

_Well, even though it had serious parts, this one was particularly fun to write. (Hey, it's a Mary Sue satire, and the Mary Sues got thrashed. Me liiikes that.)_

_Well, besides the thrashing, he most fun parts were_

_A. __The tiny EXE quote in there (if anyone recognizes it and can tell me the ep and/or miniarc they'll get a 'this person is an awesomely awesome okaku' mention in my next story as well as a nifty little plaque I'll make just for them.)_

_B. __The tribute to my favorite musical (again, if you can name that, you'll get a 'this person is cool and has good taste' plaque. Hint: It has something to do with Mary's hair.) _

_C. __And last, but not least, the description of the water. (Hehe! How many of you guys know how to read the flags on the lifeguard stations? Well, 'member—at least out here in Cali red flag means 'don't go in,' yellow flag means 'flippers and experienced swimmers only,' and green flag means 'go for it.' Just so you know._

_Oh yeah—every single bit of 'past' for Mary and Sue are all from actual Mary Sues I've read through the years. 'Found in the rain' was from a YGO fic in which Kaiba Seto (yes, _Kaiba Seto_) decides he wants to rescue a poor bedraggled girl in the rain. (One word: barf.) The rich babe story is from here, and so is the ultra-cool prototype Navi. _

_Random  fact— when I went online to look up Mrs. Hikari's dub first name (which I never found) I found out the Do-Re-Mi restaurant was renamed "Shé Snooté," which is why that's the name. (This is just if you didn't recognize the restaurant and are a subbie like me.) _

_Man.__ Now _my _brain hurts…You know, I think the dubbers name these things just so I can spoof them. Either that or they've all got a grudge against EXE and want to destroy it completely. _

_Anyway, I think I knocked down and absolutely destroyed the forth wall with this one, but if you guys actually (dear god) want ANOTHER Mega Lan story, tell me. And trust me, I'll make SURE Eugene Chaud shows up. I mean…God…it's _Eugene.


End file.
